Thursday, December 13, 2012

Man in the mirror

I have been doing a lot of soul searching these past couple months. I read the following on a friends facebook page and it really spoke to me so I wanted to share it with you.

"Man in the Mirror"

If you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say

For it isn't a man's father, mother or wife
Whose judgement upon him must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in his life
Is the man staring back from the glass

He's the fellow to please, never mind the rest
For he's with you clear up to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass."

Thank you John for this wise advice. Advice I intend to take with me as I continue the journey that I am on. This crazy life has lead me down some windy, scary roads, but I have always tried to stay true to my heart and figure out how to live life making sure that I am basing decisions on what I want. Sometimes I have faltered  and outright failed, but I always seem to find my way back to me. And that is the road that I am on right now. I am on the road to finding and being true to me.


Monday, December 03, 2012

Life

it's all about perspective... just ask Mitch Albom, one of my favorite authors.

Monday, November 05, 2012

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Everyday is a new day

As of late, I have been feeling a bit off. Things have been tough in my world. I feel like I have lost my way a little and I am not motivated by the same things that I normally have been motivated by. My training for triathlon has gone the way of the dodo bird, I haven't written in ages... seems the things that make me happy are hard to find right now. 

Last night I heard one of my old fav's on the radio... "The River" by Garth Brooks. It brought me back to my early college years and all the triumphs and struggles I faced in Grande Prairie and Lethbridge and it made me realise that sometimes Life has different plans of us. If I had known what I was going to be doing 10 years after graduating, I would have taken a different path to get here. BUT, I would have missed some fun along the way. SO... as the great Garth says, "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tide"...

The River - Garth Brooks You know a dream is like a river
Ever changing as it flows 
And the dreamer's just the vessel
That must follow where it goes 
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store 
Makes each day a constant battle 
Just to stay between the shores. 

(chorus) 

And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry. 


Too many times we stand aside 
And let the waters slip away 
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today 
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied 
Choose to chance the rapids 
And dare to dance the tide. 

And I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

And there's bound to be rough waters

And I know I'll take some falls 
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all. 

Yes I will sail my vessel'

Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry.

Yes, I will sail my vessel

'Til the river runs dry 
'Til the river runs dry

So, I will try and pick myself up and dust off a little because we all stumble and fall, and I will continue to venture into the unknown and find out who I truly am and how I fit into this world. It is not the destination that makes us who we are, but the journey... and I am determined to enjoy the journey as much as I possibly can!

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, Derek and I are going to be recluses. We are going to hide away in a cabin in the mountains with no Internet, no television, no cell service. It is going to be us and the wilderness. We are going to get back to hiking and spending time talking and enjoying nature. It is going to feel good to get back to being one with nature and unplug from the world for a weekend.

The town that we are going to is a small town that my Dad was raised in for a number of years. I recall when I was a little girl many summers wandering its quiet streets waiting for my brother's hockey school to end for the day so I had someone to play with. I loved the little bakery on one of the corners and the convenient store that had an arcade in it's loft. Such sweet childhood memories of playing at the park and having a deer walk up to the slide I was going to go down. It is just so earthy and deliciously fresh. I can't wait. I will try and post some pictures of this beautifully quaint town upon our return to civilization! :)

Monday, October 01, 2012

Beautiful Fall

This weekend a great friend and I managed to get out to a farmers market in a small town. It was a beautiful day, 22 degrees Celsius and sunny. The leaves are just turning colour and are dotting the country side with magical colours. It smelled like fall! :) We spent the late morning and early afternoon wandering in the sunshine looking at the amazing food and crafts that were everywhere at the Farmers Market. I have forgotten how much I miss the lazy Saturday mornings at the farmers market. It used to be something I did every weekend... now I have to plan it. I guess that is one of the negatives of living in a city... less rural things to do. I guess that is just the country girl coming out in me. :)

Enjoy the seasons change, it is a magical time of year where the Earth prepares for winter and the changes that brings. :) This is my favourite season of them all! It reminds me of new adventures or settling in for something new, but mostly it reminds me of school. :)

A lovely quote for you all on yet another beautiful autumn day! "For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad." - Edwin Way Teale.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Sad day

Today is always a sad day. It is the day that Derek's Dad passed away. It has been 2 years, but some days, like today, the wounds feel fresh. I recall last year being at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland on this day which was so bitter-sweet. It was amazing to be there, but sad because it was this day and it was a place that Jimmy spoke about. Forever more, this day will remind me of those cliffs. I recall reciting a poem called "The Cliffs of Moher" on the day of his funeral but for the life of me, I can not recall where I got it from - perhaps one of his many books.

I often think of Jimmy and his life and how I could have had a bigger role in it. I could have sent more cards and called more, been more informed on what was going on with him and his life. The reality is tho, I didn't. Now, I can only give to those who are still here. I try to be more involved in the people's lives that are close to me, but I am only human and because of that I fail miserably. It is on days like today where I want to call my family and friends just to tell them I love them. They will respond "I know", But it is always good to tell them.

Today, tell those you love that you do love them - even if they know. One day they won't be here and you will wonder if you ever said it enough.

Rest in Peace Jimmy, I love you.

Friday, August 03, 2012

Merlin's Femoral Head Ostectomy - AKA surgery

A couple weeks ago, I noticed Merlin (our male cat) was behaving a bit differently. A couple days later, I noticed he was limping. Off to the vet we went and Merlin, our nice, calm, cool, collected kitty turned into this demonic, man eating lion in seconds once the vet touched his hind quarters. She tried and tried and wasn't able to examine him fully. I at one point had to remove myself from the room as it was making me too upset... he just wasn't the Merlin I love. The vet gave us some pain meds and asked us to perhaps watch him for a couple days for improvement and if he didn't bring him back and we would knock him out to examine him.

A few days passed and Merlin was still limping so we went back to the vet (we as in Derek, Merlin and Audrey). Merlin was given "Kitty Percocet" as I call it, but basically it was something to make him sleepy and calm. He got x-rays and quickly we could see that he had a broken leg. Apparently what sometimes (in rare instances) when a male cat is neutered young, they don't develop properly. Their hormones are out of wack and the growth plate between the head of the femur bone and the neck of the femur bone can disintegrate. This is what happened to Merlin. What does this mean??? Kitty surgery. A Femoral Head Ostectomy (FHO)-  http://www.ambulatoryveterinarysurgery.com/hipdisease/fho.html
Merlin's xray - check out the gap between the bone and his body on the left hand side. 

So...we signed our 1.5 year old boy kitty up for surgery. What they will be doing is cutting through the right hind muscle and shaving the bone so it is smooth. They will also take out the head of the bone from the socket. Feline bodies have the ability to create a false joint with the scar tissue that will develop. Here's hoping.

Surgery was yesterday. We googled, read, researched and talked about what it would be like, how he would feel after... I was just so worried. He did wonderfully in surgery - not that he needed to participate, but you know what I mean. Everything went well. He was groggy and confused and smelled medicinal (which is STILL freaking Audrey, his sister, out as she is hissing at him and avoiding him) but he is here and it is done and there is nothing to do but move forward. I really noticed that he was spooked by loud sounds and big, fast movements, but other than that, he did fine. We tried to contain him to the living room, but he was hungry and jumped the barricade we created to go for the food. Crazy kitty! There were times where he tried to walk and tried to use his limp leg and fell on the ground - it was heart breaking to watch.
Merlin coming home after surgery
Today he is doing better. He slept in our room, we locked him in and put all of the necessities a kitty needs in our closet. I didn't sleep well, but I think he did. This afternoon, he has been hanging with Derek in the living room, snoozing and roaming and escaping our poor attempts at containing him. Audrey still hasn't stopped hissing at him, but he is eating and walking a little and doesn't seem to be in pain at all. I am not sure if his 'functions' are functioning yet, but I am sure everything is on track and will be fine. He seems to be a bit more of himself today - which is nice to see... I sure do miss my little boy! It should take about 2 weeks for him to be mostly mobil. We will need to make sure we do some stretches with him and he can't do stairs for 10 days (that's going to be hard as our new house is ALL stairs... yikes). But, we will get through it and he will be fine. I am better now that the surgery is done - as long as everything goes well from this point on! :) I will keep you all posted!
Merlin's afternoon snooze - Day 1 post-op



Friday, July 27, 2012

That's the ballgame!

Well, I am calling it now... resolutions are kaput!

I have not achieved any of the resolutions thus far and I have all but given up on some of them.

The 1/2 ironman will need to be postponed until I have more training. Basically, I am a wimp in the water. I had a panic attack on my first open water swim of the season.

As for blogging, I think we can safely say that one is out of the running as well. I feel bad that I haven't posted in MONTHS... the longest gap in time that I have left without a post in the whole time I have been blogging. It isn't that interesting things haven't happened, its just that I don't really have the time to post anything... or write... or sleep... sigh.

As for calling Jen every 2 weeks, I have been getting MUCH better at this. On July 5th at 12:00 something in the morning, Jen gave birth to a beautiful 6lbs baby girl. She is name Kathryn and she is delightfully smooshie and cute. I am heading up to HR to see her, the baby and Tay in August - and to throw her a baby shower. I have either texted her or called her every other day since, and honestly, the month and a half before she had the baby too. We haven't talked this much in years! :) Its awesome... I feel like I have my best friend back in my life!

I have been travelling for work a lot lately, going to Kelowna, Savannah, Phoenix and SLC all within 2.5 weeks. This has reeked havoc on my training program with Coach Ed, but I managed to muddle through some how. It was a great time travelling where I implemented some new programs and took some training myself. I really do love my job!

So much to update on... I will post picts and details soon - I hope! :)

In the mean time, keep living the life you have imagined. As Dr. Seuss said, "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple". Keep digging for the big questions you have about yourself and you may find out that the answers are quite simple. :)

Friday, March 16, 2012

Resolutions Re-Cap...

So... I have been tardy with a couple things that were my resolutions for this year.

What I HAVE accomplished so far is trying a new recipe each month... I will try and post them both here so my few readers can see them. I have also been training for the Sylvan 1/2 ironman... so I am getting there on that one.

What I have fallen behind on is:
1 - Blogging... I posted a couple today (that were started before today of course) - I will try and get better!
2 - Volunteering - I haven't volunteered ONCE this year... I have signed up for cooking at the Ronald McDonald House in May, but I just don't have the time (with the training for the 1/2) to devote to volunteering... sigh...
3 - Calling Jen - I have SUCKED at this. I did good in January, but with all the stuff that went on in Feb, I lost it. I have sent her texts at least once every 1.5 weeks-ish... but I haven't called her. I will get better. I must get better.

I know that some resolutions aren't ever achieved, so I have given up on the volunteering one. But I refuse to give up the blogging resolution and the one that makes me call Jen. She is preggers and I want to know all about it!!! I must do better, I will do better!

So, to finish for today - "When you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny" - Tony Hsieh. May your days be filled with purpose and may you be determined to achieve all you set out to do!

Friday, February 17, 2012

A Mother's Love

Mothers are the most important person in our world - I believe. They are the ones that give birth to us, care for us and help us grow. They bandage scrapped knees, sit with you during a fevered night, helps you with your homework, bakes your birthday cakes, and loves you on the days when you aren't all that love-able. Mothers are special. Mothers are irreplaceable.

These thoughts come on the few days after Derek's Mother, Betty, passed away from Leukaemia. She has been living with this disease since her diagnosis in August and we were told that we would be lucky to have Christmas with her. We were so blessed to be able to spend Christmas with her. Although it was bitter-sweet, knowing that it would be our last with her, it was wonderful to be able to share traditions with her one last time. We were able to visit with her in August, and then Derek went again in November, and we went again at Christmas. We had travelled to see her for her 81st Birthday and one day before this, she passed away. While we did tell her Happy Birthday (because in Ireland it was the next day), we weren't able to share it with her.

I got along with Betty since the first time that I met her. She was clever and witty, pointed in her comments often and opinionated, but well spoken and got her point across. She clearly loved her family, and adored her grandchildren, but was raised in the old school belief that emotions aren't there to show. Spending the last days with Betty, I know in my heart that she adored my husband and his sister more than she ever expressed - I felt this so strongly. While I know that things haven't always been clear between her and her family, I know that she was able to share how she felt, the best way she knew how, with those who she loved. This brings me a lot of peace.

We said goodbye to Betty on February 4, 2012. She was surrounded by her family, and I hope she felt our love as she slipped peacefully from this world. I hope that she knows that we loved her very much and there is a hole in our hearts because she is gone. She was a strong, determined woman who followed what she believed and stood strong for her convictions. We should all be so lucky to have determination like her. I am a better human for knowing her and sharing in her experiences, even for just the short time I knew her. Saying goodbye was difficult, it always is, but I have so much peace surrounding her passing because I know I said to her what I needed to say, and I know that she expressed what she could in return.

So, to Betty. I wish you peace and rest and an end to the journey that you have been for near 81 years. Thank you for bringing into the world the love of my life. He is a wonderful, amazing man and I thank you for your contribution to who he is. I am so very lucky to have met you and have you grace my world for even the short time I knew you. Thank you and Good bye.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Travelling for work

In the past 4 months, I have travelled to Kelowna, Savannah, and Salt Lake twice for work. I feel like things are progressing very well with the new role. I am loving what I am doing and I am really learning so very much.

I went to Kelowna first, administering training on some software that we are using. We use a Record Management Software and I was charged with getting the Kelowna team online. It was a great 2.5 days in Kelowna where it was sunny, warm and filled with some visiting with the team. A quick trip which I enjoyed greatly.

The next trip was to Savannah, Georgia. Most of which was recorded on this blog. I loved the trip to Savannah, and even though I didn't get to do a lot on my own, it was amazing to be there and see some of the history.

Salt Lake, I think I will be going to a number of times. The whole team that I work with, work down there so bringing me in is much easier than for them to all come up here. I haven't had a lot of time to tour Salt Lake but what I have seen is that it is square, flat, and pretty. It has a distinctive "Vanilla" feel to it which is interesting because I have never had a feel like this from a city before. I plan on seeing more the next time I am down there to be able to know the city better.

I hope to do more travelling soon, but with this job, I never know. There were smatterings of talkings about Phoenix and California, but who knows! :)

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Happy New Year and Welcome 2012

Here we are again, looking into the sparkling promise of a New Year. Full of fresh ideas, goals and dreams in hopes that this year will be a wonderful year... fingers crossed right?

So, here just slightly over the threshold of a shiny New Year, I make resolutions...

1. To do the Half Ironman in Sylvan Lake (July 22)
2. To cook a new dish at least once a month
3. Blog at least 2 times a month
4. To volunteer at least once a month
5. Call or talk to Jen (my BFF) at least once every 2 weeks... I sure do miss her.

Some of them not very exciting, some of them already in the works, some of them may not even happen... but for me, looking into a brand New Year without goals, objectives, a direction to go in, well, that's asking for trouble friends because I would try and do it all!

Happy New Year to all of you and I hope the ideas, dreams and goals that you have set for 2012 are all achieved (and well before Christmas!) :)

A quick quote to bring in the New Year, something inspiring from last year... "So, let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic, and we will change the World!" - Jack Layton