Wednesday, May 19, 2010

People are mean

I have lost faith in the goodness of people. I always believed that people were inherently good... that just isn't true.

Throughout this past month I have experienced people slamming the door in my face, yelling at me because the colours changed one software application at work and was told that its policy to charge for adding my HUSBAND to the car registration. People SUCK... the long and short of it.

One of these days, I am going to be in a terrible mood and someone is going to be a jerk (as they normally would be) and I'm going to loose it... like the Champ... Head fake them with my purse, an upper cut to the chin and a right jab to the solar-plexes! Look out, the wrath of Heather just might come one day!

Is it me? Have people grown grumpier and more unhappy throughout the years? I try and keep optimistic, try to be happy with what I have and where I am at the present moment... it really isn't that hard, just think of all the people in the world that have less than you and be thankful you are where you are. Some people can't be happy with ANYTHING... they are soul suckers. Be wary of soul suckers because if you get too close you will fall under their spell and become a soul sucker too!

Enough ranting for one day... enjoy the sunshine that is in your life, regardless if it is raining because someone, somewhere has it worse than you. Be thankful and joyful for what you have... this will radiate to others! And above all... DON'T be a soul sucker!

Sunday, May 02, 2010

15 years have passed!

On April 30th, 1995, a young girl of 13 was killed tragically in a car accident in my home town. Deanna Starcevic, a grade 7 student, was out with her boyfriend at the falls enjoying a spring day. Her boyfriend had been drinking, and before he knew it, on the twisty turny road that is between Enterprise and Hay River, the car was out of control and had rolled numerous times. Deanna was dead and the boy, just 18, was found later on to be a murder and sent to jail.

15 years later, I pause to reflect on that day, the feeling of knowing someone I had seen in school had died. It was my first real experience with death and I had no idea how to feel. I didn't know Deanna at all, she was younger than I, but I knew of her and her presence in the school. I remember the solemn feeling that the school had at that time and it was a while until joy was felt again. I recall going to the funeral and seeing, for the first time, a man crying - that image will be in my head forever. Her father, standing by his car, wailing in grief saying "My Baby is gone, my baby is gone". I hadn't cried at the funeral at all (which for me is abnormal) and I guess I didn't know how to act. I remembered crying after seeing her father cry - I remember thinking that my father would be doing that same thing had it been me that was just put into the ground. It was a lot of firsts for me, and it impacted me more than I think I knew at the time. I still have the leaflet from the funeral - the things that we keep. I have had the leaflet in my book of handwritten poetry since, and there it will stay forever.

"... We fancied that we hard them say, "Dear Lord, thy will be done, For all the joy Thy child will bring, the risk of grief we run. We will shelter her with tenderness, we will love her while we may, And for happiness we have now, forever grateful stay. But shall the angels call for her, much sooner than we planned, We shall brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

I guess that I have remembered Deanna 15 years later says something about the impact that her life had on mine. Not that I knew her, but the loss of her life taught me about grief and mourning, but also taught me early on that life does go on. Every time that I am on that windy road between Enterprise and Hay River, I always try and remember what corner it was that the accident occured and I remember the impact that event had on my life and so I guess, in my small way, I will forever remember her - Rest in Peace Deanna.