Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Liberating or devastating?

What I thought would be a liberating move, turned out to be a devastating event... I deleted most of my facebook page... and by most of it, I mean all the photos, my profile information, my quotes... and I thought that I would be happy about it... feel free from having people look at my life with scrutiny and commenting on the ins and outs of my life. BUT - it feels like I have lost a small part of me. Derek looked at me with his beautiful sad eyes and said "all those memories... poof... gone!" and right he is.

I have endless e-mails sent out to all the facebook and help people I can find in hopes that they help me... I have checked my cookies to see if I had a saved version of the page prior to the mass exodus of the info - no luck - there HAS to be a way... we live in the land of technology - where anything is possible - they can send people to the MOON and stuff, can't they find my pictures on the inter-web??? siiiiiiigh...

I will keep you posted on this dilemma - that I created for myself... silly, lame me!

What I do know is that this blog will never - ever - ever - ever be deleted... it has too much of me and who I am in it... how could I delete that!?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

What does it mean when you google OCD?

Does it mean that you are SOOO OCD that you just neeeeeed to find out if you are infact OCD? - OR, it is a result of having WAY too much time on your hands to look up random facts via google?

I am not sure if I would be considered OCD, but I am sure that I would make a couple shrinks shake their heads... I have things... weird things, that can't be changed or I feel weird. An example, cupboard doors... they can't be open - I have caught myself getting up from the supper table at friends houses to close their cupboard doors all the while chatting like I am all normal and like I am doing nothing wrong... some days I think myself to be certifiable!

However, when your google-ing at 4am (and google-ing OCD amongst all things) interesting things pop up and you realize that you are in fact normal and the majority of the world that posts comments on forums are nuts - loony - just bonkers! I am not talking about washing hands excessively I am talking about stalking, reading spouses e-mail, cracking into computers to satisfy their compulsions CRAZY! It made me realize that A - I am some what almost normal (what is normal anyway?) and B - I can get over any small compulsion I have, I just have to get it out in the open and change my mind about it... to use a phrase I coined in Grade 10 - "It's all Psychological!"

So... I am making a clean slate, getting my obsessions out in the open and dealing with them, making it so I see them for what they are - crazy - and then change them! Wish me luck on this endeavour!

Another thing to note... Training resumes!

Sunday (which is technically today - but to my body - tomorrow) is the start of my new and more intense training program. I have rest days on Tuesday and Fridays this go-round and as such, will be running 5 days a week... lets hope it sticks!

It should be interesting training for the first 2 weeks seeing as I am on nights currently (note time stamp of this posting!) as well as we will be travelling to Derek's competition (GO Vertical Express GO!!!) and then moving on to Hay River to visit the Parental units and Jen (my dear, sweet friend). As hard as I try... I can't imagine a hill in Hay River that will aid me in the "hills" portion of my training... interesting. I am looking forward to the Kayaking and Hiking that Derek and I have planned and the visiting and general camaraderie and tomfoolery that comes with a visit to the Hay... Life is good - busy and good!

A quote that I thought was amusing... "There is no "I" in "team" there is, however, an "I" in "initiative" - in fact, there are four of them, so chew on that, you dull little sheep" - it just made me giggle and is from a book I bought Derek called "A Dictionary of Bullsh*t..." by Diane Law. It is about stupid "Buzz words" in the corporate world that drive Derek crazy... it was good for a laugh! Pick it up if you have a chance!

(Having re-read this, I notice how random and piece-meal it is... lots going on in this noggin I suppose! :o))

Monday, June 22, 2009

Isn't it funny

When you have time on your hands, isn't it funny what you end up doing?

Take for instance, a night shift in front of a computer and a phone that rings on average 1.5 times per shift... one can find some pretty interesting things to do. I find myself roaming Facebook for - honestly - hours looking at pictures of people whom I have no interest in... I also roam the Internet looking up everything and anything that seems interesting. Tonight, I found a gem really... a blog about a guy who is RUNNING across Europe - how I found it I may never know but I have just spent about an hour reading about his journey. He is running with only an extra change of clothes, a rain suit, a toothbrush and a phone that takes pictures, had GPS and world-wide capabilities. He is NOT staying in hotels but is "couch surfing" http://www.couchsurfing.net and basically asking for places to stay along the way. He is 31 days in as of today and has yet to not find a place to sleep. What a great adventure that would be... makes me want to go and travel like a gypsy - once we have some things organized perhaps! Check out this dudes crazy journey if you want a good read! http://ryanrunseurope.blogspot.com

Another thing I found my self doing tonight was voting for my favorite Robert Munsch book... I love Munsch... The favorite seems to be "I love you Forever" which is undoubtedly an amazing book. My favorite however, is "Moira's Birthday" - the picture of Moira's dad is SOOOO Mr. Green - and the fact that they live IN A GREEN HOUSE... just amazing... I loved that I used to walk to school with Moira every day in Grade 9... There is a Munsch exhibit going on right now at the Telus World of Science... perhaps I should go and show my Munsch love!!!

Well folks, on to viewing more interesting things on this crazy interweb... very cool how a few mouse clicks and a cup of coffee can keep me occupied for hours! :o)

Enjoy the sunshine... while on nights, I sleep with the blinds drawn and come out when it is getting dark... feeling almost like a vampire! :o)

Monday, June 15, 2009

The race was run

This is me... crossing the finish line of the 1/2 Marathon I ran this weekend. It was a great relief, sense of pride, sense of sadness and happiness all in the same stride across the mat.

After 15 weeks of training, it is a relief to know that I did it, the training paid off when it should have (the last 3 - 4 km's and up hills). It was a great sense of pride as not everyone can say they've ran 21.1km's and lived to tell about it. A sense of happiness that it is over and on to the next race, but a sense of sadness as I didn't reach the goal I set for myself. In runners' terms, I wasn't even close - 10 mins off is HUGE - that's about 2KM's behind in your pace... how do you get that behind your pace... all I can say is - I did it, I have my first one under my belt and on to beat that time (and blow it out of the water!)

My next race is 22K in Banff (which has higher elevation and is hillier) and I am running it with a friend who runs at a 2hour 1/2 Marathon pace... If I am going to keep up with her at all, I am going to have to get a move on! I have a training program all ready to go - and it is more intense, and more targeted to being faster and more effective at hills. I think I have this one ready to go! I am also working on a nutrition plan so that I don't sabotage my training with milkshakes and licorice! :o) Oh my weaknesses are great! I am not sure how training will work with my new schedule - as you may be able to tell, I am on nights - which makes it difficult to go for that "after work" run or the "before work run" as I am totally tuckered when I hit the sack in the AM and it is dark by the time I would be ready to run... only time will tell I suppose!

I guess I should tell you about the run. Nothing too exciting to report actually... I put one foot in front of the other. I kept hydrated with thanks to my wonderful husband who brought my 2nd water bottle to the 1/2 way mark. He was sitting there with the volunteers as I zipped past throwing my empty at him and grabbing my full bottle. He is my biggest fan and keeps me in line when I want to stop at Pete's Drive in for a milkshake. He encourages me on those long runs, and with out him I am certain that some of them would not have been as successful or as long. So, thanks Husband/coach/cheerleader extraordinare... you are wonderful, you believe in me and I couldn't thank you enough for helping me these past weeks.

At about the 1 mile mark, I came up over a hill and behold... a pipe band of about 10 playing the tunes of my ancestors with vigor and such rythm. It was so inspirational and emotional when I realized that they were playing "Amazing Grace". This song was played at my Grandfather's funeral almost 11 years ago, and 9 years ago I recall my father and I standing on a street corner in Edinburgh listening to the same song played by a blind piper and his faithful dog. Having just ran about 19K I was pumped with endorphines and emotion of almost being done and thus... the water works started. I was bawling for a good 500 metres and the poor guy that I passed as I ran probly thought I was in agony. It was nice to have that gentle kick at the end - as I knew that my Grandpa was smiling down at me encouraging me and being proud of me. I felt his encouragement in those last kilometres...

So, I get to the finish line (but not before I kick it up a notch and pass about 3 people in the last 500m) exhausted, nausious and so happy to be done. I couldn't help but feel disapointment with my time... I get an idea in my head and I am peeved if it turns out different. BUT... I know that next race I will do better, train better and thus get a better time! As Charles C. Noble said "You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures." My long term goal is to A. Stay fit and healthy B. Run a Marathon at least once in my life and C. Run until I don't enjoy it anymore. I did get my first finisher's medal which is great (and it has feet on it which is so very cool to me) and so the collection begins!

Training begins for the next race in 2 weeks... Time will tell how that goes, but until then... I am going to rest up, relax, eat and be merry - the 2 weeks will be gone before I know it and it will be in full training mode again! :o)

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

I have a job

So literally, a day after I posted the last post... (and to be honest, I didn't even post it on that day) I got a call from a potential employer and went in for an interview. I got asked to go in for a secondary interview and "voila"!! I now am employed... phew, thought I was going to have to resort to something like a walking the street in a banana suit! - long story, don't ask! :o)

I am working now as a Data Support Analyst for a technology company... I will have to work shift work, but it will help pay the bills and give me something to do! :o) Besides, it is a foot in the door with a great up and coming company and that never hurts!

About 3.5 days until the 1/2 marathon and I am confident that I will finish it... in the time that I want, perhaps not, but it is my first one and I was injured for 2 training weeks so I feel confident that I won't be the last one to cross the finish line. That is my main goal. Really, however, I would love to cross the finish line in 2 hours, but would settle for 2 hours 10 mins (and really, secretly, as long as I beat 2 hours 20 mins I will be happy!).

SO... Quote of the day time! "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different" - Coco Chanel. Now, for those of you that know me well know that when I was 16 years old I went to France and fell in love with the perfume "Coco Chanel", named after - you guessed it - the creator of the Chanel brand - Coco. It is unique and different and everything I wanted to be at 16 and even now, ehem, 12 years later, I still love putting on my Chanel perfume because it is different and unique and everything I want to be at 28! I fell in love with that quote when I first saw it, just like I fell in love with that perfume when I first smelt it.

Another piece of giggle from me this fine day... again, for those that know me, know that I have a THING against the colour purple... I have gotten HEAPS better but still am not crazy about the colour. I saw this when I was reading a blog that I often peruse "For a long time all the girls I met who loooooved purple were... well, how do I put this... crazy. So, when I say happy PURPLE weekend, well, you know what I mean. " - it made me giggle... the ladies who love purple are crazy, so, lets substitute Crazy for Purple... LOVES IT!!!

Hope this brings you love, happiness and a life that is unique and different! May we live lives that are irreplaceable, as Coco Chanel wishes us to! :o)

Monday, June 01, 2009

Time flies when your unemployed!

So, it has been over a month without an update to speak of... what have I been up to you ask? NOTHING... ugh, this not having a job is for the birds... I mean what does one DO all day when they aren't working... I still haven't figured that out and with 5 months of unemployed "bliss?" checked off the calendar, one would think that I have some semblence of a routine... nope, not even the slightest!

I have been running a lot, trying to achieve my goal of running a 1/2 marathon in 2 hours... the race is in "gulp" 1 week and 5 days and I feel so un-prepared and not able to run in my goal time... so, I have adjusted it so that my goal is 2 hrs and 10 mins... I am pretty sure I can do this! Why do I feel un-prepared? Well... I had to take 1.5 weeks off of training because my right hip was sore. This hampered my training in the peak weeks so I feel out of shape and under-prepared... why was I so lazy at the begining of the 15 weeks? eeek!

So... I have been sitting and waiting for the call for an interview... sending in 50 resume's to potential employers per day... what makes me so un-employable? Is it my charm and good looks? Nope, they don't even see me... perhaps I should attach a headshot!

Anyways, lets all keep our fingers crossed for me shall we?