Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Introducing our daughter, Sally :)

It has been many months since I last updated my blog - and oh boy, what amazing months they have been!

We had our beautiful daughter on a Thursday in November. The weather had just started to turn chilly for the winter, but not a lot of snow had fallen. Two nights before Sally was born the first snow fell and I wished she would just come already! She was already 6 days over due and we just wanted to meet her - and I was getting pretty uncomfy. :) Two days later, at 6am, labour started. About 26 hours later, by C-section, Sally came into the world screaming - and after the scary ordeal of her heart rate dropping, the screaming was the most amazing sound. I couldn't have been so strong without Justin and my mother supporting me through labour. What an adventure having a baby is!
Sally - 21 days old

We've spent the days and weeks since learning her little grunts and cries - discovering what they mean, and what she'd like us to do. We've celebrated Christmas with a shining new face, brought the new year in with hope. We've celebrated family and shared our joy with so many. We've had her baptized in the church she was dreamed in. It's been so incredible.

It's totally cliche, but words can't explain how awesome being a mom is. It is incredible to watch this little human learn how to 'human'. And without our love, encouragement, support and guidance, our Sally wouldn't learn how. If a baby isn't spoken to, they don't learn to speak! Wild!!It is the literal definition of awe-some and it blows my mind. She brings a smile to my face when I think of her. She inspires me to do better, to be kinder, to be successful, and to be honest. She is everything and I can't remember life without our precious, hand sucking, cooing babe.

In the days since she was born, she has been a light and although I am tired, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. period. I am so glad I didn't miss this! :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Time ticks away!

In about 12 weeks, I will be changed forever. I am changed forever now... but it will be real and big and in my face and I won't be able to escape it. I will be a mom. I technically am now, this little munchkin has been kicking me for 10 weeks straight - but its from the inside. I can still hop in my car and go to a movie when I want. I can go to the grocery store without fear of a kid crying and loosing it mid-shop.

Its surreal really - I often forget that I am pregnant and then I look down and see my bulging belly and think "Oh, yeah, that is happening" - but as of late, it has started to sink in. We are gathering clothes for the wee one - tiny, pink and purple, frilly and feminine clothes - and we have the "Stuff" that comes with babies now - A bassinet, a stroller, a car seat. We have all the cloth diapers we might ever need and we have blankets upon blankets. And yet... I feel unprepared for this adventure. It is so weird - now that it is starting to feel real, I am starting to feel like I am ill prepared for this, the biggest change I will ever endure. How does one prepare for such an adventure. What books do you read and what lists do you make?

When ever I am feeling overwhelmed, which is more and more lately, I go into the baby's space and look at the little clothes, read the little books, organize the little diapers. I look down at the little tiny items and imagine what our little girl is going to look like, what it's going to feel like having her look back at me with her shining eyes and gooey smile. And then I melt. I have never really felt motherly in my life, and I doubt that is how I will ever be described. But in those moments, when I am dreaming of the baby in my belly, I feel like the only mom in the world and she is the only daughter in the world. I wonder if it will be like that when she comes out?

We are getting very excited to meet this little one and we often look at each other and smile and talk about what she is going to be like. We've decided that she is going to be awesome and cool and beautiful and perfect. I am sure every parent thinks that and says it, but the feeling is genuine and we don't say it because that is what we think we should say... we really think she is going to be THAT wonderful! :)

Only 12 more weeks to go until life changes in the biggest way it can. We are having a little girl, and she is going to be wonderful and we are so excited to meet her. I want time to fly but I want it to take forever so I can soak in the pre-baby days just a little longer. :) Life is such an adventure - I can't wait for this journey!!! :)

Thursday, June 30, 2016

The truth in the matter

Today I read an article... This article... and it made me think.

Lately, I have been checking in with myself. Making sure that this path is the path that is right for me, that I am happy in my decisions and with my life. The answer is yes, I am very happy. While I don't feel happiness every minute of everyday - no one is expected to be happy that much - I do feel some happiness almost everyday.

I've also been trying to understand my past decisions and this passage really hit home and I completely agree and realize that I may have fallen into this trap a time or two.

"We make mistakes, too, because we are so lonely. No one can be in an optimal frame of mind to choose a partner when remaining single feels unbearable. We have to be wholly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to be appropriately picky; otherwise we, risk loving no longer being singer rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate."

However, I disagree with the turning point in the article where the author quips "We mustn't abandon him or her..." when sometimes, that is the only thing you can do when you've found that you've married someone who is so incompatible with you that you are embarrassed to introduce them to people in your world.While I know and understand that your partner can never fully satisfy your every need and they will disappoint, anger, frustrate, enrage, and hurt you at many points in your lives together. They should never control, dominate, belittle, or abuse you in anyway, It they don't acknowledge their behaviour as horrific and wrong and take immediate action to try to change it, then "abandon" them and do it quickly!

When I look at my life as it is now, I see a friendship with my partner. We enjoy each other, we were friends first and always will be. I look forward to a life with my best friend. He is a remarkable, but flawed, person. But who isn't flawed. He would never do anything to hurt me, and if he does hurt me, he would acknowledge it, change it and move on. As the article says "The person who is best suited to us... (is) the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently - the person who is good at disagreement." I have been getting better at being good at disagreement and I have been getting better at not being a martyr. I am lucky that I have a very intelligent partner who is able to disagree with me well.

"Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be it's pre-condition". As J and I work together towards being parents, we are learning where compatibility lies and where it needs work. It is a labour of love - and it should be... relationships are hard work, but they are worth it if both parties are willing to put it in. Relationships are far from romantic, and they shouldn't be approached as such, instead, I believe they should be approached as a business interaction that start with love and only build.

Not sure where all of this is going, I just felt the need to put down my thoughts after reading this article. I have married the wrong people before, but I am glad that I never started a family with them. That would have been 100% life long commitment and I would have never come back from that. Now, as I sit here, with my daughter in my belly, I am reminded of the commitment I make to her that I will always try to be a better partner to her father. I make this promise to her so that she can have a happier life. While that doesn't sound like a commitment to J, it is a commitment to my family. And one I intend to keep.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Our newest adventure

Over 10 years ago, I started this blog. It has been a source of venting, logging and documenting my journey through life. Sometimes I've written about nothing, sometimes I've written about my feelings, but I've always written about my adventures. It is always amazing to me to be able to go through and read about the places I've been and the things I have done. I've had an incredible life so far, and I feel so lucky to have been able to wade through all the unhappiness that I've felt and experienced and finally land here, in this place in my life, at this time. Life is good. Life has been continuously great for the past 3 years. From getting an education in my chosen field, to living in Italy and learning Italian, to discovering my love of wine, to finding my soul mate, to working for a great company with great perks, LIFE HAS BEEN WONDERFUL! And now, we are starting the next phase of our journey. We've renovated our home so that it isn't a dismal apartment but in fact a beautiful home. We've taken some amazing journeys and been from one coast of this country to the next. We've explored new places and old together and through it all, Justin and I have become a family.

It is now time for our family to grow. In November, we will welcome our beautiful baby girl and we will be more complete than before. This experience has been exciting and wild and has had so many unexpected joys already and I can't wait to see what the future brings as we shape and mold this little person.

She is our delight already, and I am only 20 weeks. She makes us smile and become excited in all the things we hope for her.

I am certain that in the coming months and years, this blog will be filled with her shenanigans and stories. I can't wait to see what the future brings.

Until then, I will revel in the fact that a human being is growing inside my body... which is totally cool and has touched me so much more than I thought was possible. My pregnancy has been very easy (knock on wood) up to this point and everyone is happy and healthy.

Our families are ecstatic and full of anticipation to meet the next member of our clans.

This summer will find us camping in the mountains, taking it easy and planning the next phase of our life. We know that our lives will change dramatically in November, so we are trying to soak in as much sleep and as much of each other as we can before then. I hope to blog more in the coming months, as so much will be changing and so much will be happening.

Until next time, bloggers, that is our news and we are over the moon with happiness and excitement for the adventure to come!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Maui - The short and sweet of it

How awesome that this is my 300th post on this blog... it showcases one of my all-time favourite holidays ever.

Maui was incredible. It was so lush and tropical. Words can not describe its beauty, the people, the scenery, the food. All of it was incredible and being able to share this adventure with Justin makes it even better. He is by far the best travel partner I have travelled with. I loved looking over to see his face when I saw something incredible because he showed such awe and it was always exactly how I felt too! It was simply awesome!

I always do a 10 things about a place - so, here is my 10 things about Maui.

1. It is illegal to camp on the side of the road, but that doesn't stop anyone.
2. The best and most refreshing drinks are at Hana farms, the hibiscus drink was incredible!
3. The biggest wave ever paddled into is 54 feet and was by Paia. We didn't see it tho.
4. One side of the island gets so much rain they get flash floods but the other side only gets 11 inches. It is such a diverse landscape!
5. The road to Hana is a bit sketchy, but if you REALLY  want a challenge, keep going past Hana to the sacred pools, that is the sketchiest road I've ever been on.
6. Property on Maui is about the same as property in central BC. Moving there has crossed my mind.
7. Everyone gets up pretty early, we were up around 6:30am everyday... But everyone tucks in pretty early too. Most nights we settled in by 9:30pm. This is very common.
8. The only way you know about the roosters is if you camp or are local. There are no roosters on the resorts. :)
9. The fruit on the side of the road is worth the stop every. Single. Time!
10. The mixture of sunshine and local fruits and veggies makes your skin glow and smell like a tropical breeze. It was my favourite thing about Maui.

As I have said before, Maui is magical and I know we will go back one day... Maybe when our dollar is better!